Why Goku is Called Goku & Vegeta is called Vegeta
by dead and gone
Summary: One-shot humor fic! Goku brings Vegeta ice-skating resulting in 'accidents', makes him watch Jerry Springer and makes him go insane! Gohan thinks that they've turned psycho and Vegeta streaks for a dare! By dragon agility! Stitches guarranteed!


This is dragon agility here! Check out my profile under my name for t/p fanfiction!

Let's get ready to rumble with laughter!!!! IN THIS, GOKU DID NOT DIE AT THE CELL GAMES!!

Why Goku is called Goku and Vegeta is called Vegeta

Vegeta flew quickly over to Goku's house. He growled as he remembered why he was going there. Bulma had made him go and fetch something off Chi-Chi and had said that if he didn't get it, he would sleep on the couch for a week. Damn women and their rules.

He got to his destination and levitated down to the ground. He looked around before going up to the door to knock. He knocked once, twice, three times.

No answer.

He growled. Damn Kakarott for not being there!

He leaned against the door, letting out angry air. Then, the door opened causing Vegeta to fall back in between a naked Kakarott's legs. Vegeta yelled in surprise and covered his eyes with his hand and screamed, "Kakarott, for the love of Kami, get some pants on!"  
  


Goku looked down and giggled, "Oh he he. I forgot I was naked." He scratched the back of his head. Goku closed the door and pulled on some blue sweat pants. 

Now Vegeta was on the verge of deciding whether to kill Kakarott or himself because he had to see that horrible scene.  
  


"Sorry Vegeta; Chi-Chi and I had some business to attend to last night."

Vegeta let out steam from his ears as he got up, "Like I really wanted to know that you numbnut!"

Goku shrugged and then laughed.

"What's so funny baka?" asked Vegeta, annoyed.

"You're blushing."

"WHAT?!"

"You're blushing."

"I heard you the first time, moron," said Vegeta, "WHAT?! The Prince of all Saiyans does NOT blush!"

Goku gave him a mirror.

"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GO AWAY BLUSH! GO AWAY, YOU HEAR ME! GO AND INVADE SOMEONE ELSE!"

The mirror cracked.

"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU BROKE THE MIRROR VEGETA! THAT MIRROR HAD A FUTURE! WIFE, KIDS!"

Vegeta gaped at him, "It's a mirror Kakarott. It doesn't have brains, it has no life!"

Goku was shocked, took the mirror of him and hugged it, "Ssssshhhh Vegeta it'll hear you!"

12 year old Gohan, who had been listening and looking at them from around the corner of the house fainted. He had never known Vegeta to blush or his Father to act so stupid. He had seen them in a new light. It had been too much for him. 

Goku and Vegeta looked to the left as they heard the thud and saw Gohan.  
  


Goku said, "Oh that's nice; first you kill the mirror, now my son."  
  


"Kakarott: shut the hell up about the bloody mirror!!! And you almost killed me with that horrible scene earlier which will remain horribly vivid in my mind forever!"

"At least you've seen it before; this mirror won't know what hit him!"

Vegeta pinched the bridge of his nose and counted to ten. 

"Kakarott, is your mate in?" asked Vegeta.

"No."

He fainted.

Goku shrugged his shoulders and waited for him to wake up…which was only three seconds later.

"You mean I came here for nothing?!"

"Errr…yeah?" replied Goku, not knowing what he was talking about.

Vegeta growled.

"Hey, why don't you stay here while we wait for Chi-Chi to come back? We could watch Jerry Springer," asked Goku.

"Me? Stay with you? Kakarott, I won't be caught _dead_ watching that baka man interrogating humans!"

One hour later… 

"I can't believe I'm watching Jerry Springer…"

"Relax Vegeta! We're just about to find out whether Kat was lying to Jake about having an affair with his best friend's stepdaughter's cousin's brother's son."

"Why do you watch this stupid stuff?"

"Because it's interesting!" replied Goku. 

Vegeta watched it with Goku with no interest at all and waited until it was finished.

"Kakarott, isn't your brat still outside?"

"Yeah…"

"And it's raining?"

"Yeah…"

"Never mind."

Goku shrugged his shoulders.

"Hey," he said, "have you ever asked Bulma out on a date?"

"I don't need to go on silly human rituals; I have my own ways of making her go weak at the knees," replied Vegeta.

"Well then you're stupid."

"Stupid! Why I'll show you!" said Vegeta  
  


"Bring it on."

"Is that a challenge?"

"Yeah, I'll take you on any day," said Goku.  
  


"Ok then, let's do it."  
  


Both of the saiyans ran towards the Playstation 2.

After a long game of Grand Theft Auto 3 Vice City, they kicked back and relaxed. Vegeta had lost…again. He had never won.

"Let's train Kakarott," said Vegeta.

"No."

He started to cry, "Why did you have to break the mirror Vegeta? Why?"

"Shut up Kakarott."

Goku wiped tears from his eyes, "Mirror, if you're looking down on me, remember all the good times we had!"

"Kakarott, would you shut up!"

"Get away from me you homicidal mirror killer!"

Vegeta put his hand under the couch and took out a bag of Gummy Crocodiles.

"Hey! Those are mine," said Goku.

Vegeta powered up a small ki ball in his hand, "Shut up about the mirror or these Gummy Crocodiles will be blown into the next dimension."

Goku nodded and Vegeta tossed the bad to him. He hugged it possessively and glared at Vegeta. 

"Kakarott, why on Earth do you like watching baka Jerry Springer?"

"Don't diss Jerry. He told me how to avoid sleeping on the couch," said Goku.

"I know where you keep the Skittles…"

Goku clamped his mouth shut.

"Your mate better hurry up and get home…"

"Don't worry Vegeta, she'll be home soon. She told me that she's going to bake some cookies and then we're going to watch late night Jerry Springer."

"Is all you think about food and that Jerry man?" asked Vegeta.

"Right now I'm also thinking I won't trust you around my children seeing as you killed that poor defenceless mirror."

Vegeta powered up another ki blast, pointing it towards the kitchen.

"No! You wouldn't be that cruel! Anything but that!"

"I'm glad you're seeing this my way Kakarott. I have a brat of my own and just shut up about that mirror!"   
  


"Fine…but if the mirror lovers come after you, don't expect me to help," said Goku.

"Kakarott, go away before I blast you…"

Later in the day… 

"Why in the name of Dende am I stuck here with you?" asked Vegeta.

"Well, Chi-Chi called and said she was going to be late so I've decided to bring you ice-skating!"

"Ice-skating? What is that? Another human ritual?"

"No…it's when you slide on ice wearing shoes with a blade on the bottom," said Goku.

"I don't like the idea of that," said Vegeta.

"If you fall over, you have to tuck your arms under your body; otherwise someone might run over your fingers and it hurts a lot."

"Then again, this might not be such a bad idea," said Vegeta as they queued up for tickets. 

"Right Vegeta, rule number one: don't push anyone over," said Goku.

"Why?"

"Because we don't want to get kicked out."

"Ok," replied Vegeta.

"Rule number two: no ki blasts or super, super, super fast speed."

"Yes," replied Vegeta.

"And last of all, never, and I mean never insult the little kids who can do all of the stunts."

"Like little kids can do stunts. They can't do anything!" said Vegeta.

Goku giggled.

After a few minutes, they went to get some ice-skates. Goku got his first and then it was Vegeta's turn.

"What size are you?" asked the little old man in the booth.

"What size are you what, you baka?"

"What size feet are you?"

"Errrr…normal size?" replied Vegeta. 

The man sighed and looked at Vegeta's feet, "You need a small size, I think. Your feet are quite small."

Vegeta grabbed the man by the collar, "Never call any part of my body small again!"

"But they are small!" replied the man.

Vegeta punched him into the back wall. People looked at him from all directions.

Goku ###### in a deep breath, collected some ice skates and dragged Vegeta to the stands.

"Vegeta, you're not supposed to punch little old men."

  
"Kakarott, you never said I couldn't do that," replied Vegeta.

  
"Well now I say it: no punching out little old men."

Goku let go of Vegeta and ran onto the ice. He was still for a minute before he started to move. He did one lap around before stopping at the stands.

"Vegeta! Come on the ice!"

Vegeta grinned, "I'm coming Kakarott. Do you reckon that's fast? I bet you I can go much faster than you."

He stepped onto the ice…and slipped.

Goku laughed hard, a stitch in his side waiting for Vegeta to get up. He did and promptly fell over again.

After ten minutes, Vegeta could skate around on the ice…but only by holding onto the edge. Goku, meanwhile, was whizzing around. As he passed Vegeta, he turned around and skated backwards. Vegeta growled. He powered up a little and used his levitation skills to keep him up. He caught up with Goku and raced him to the edge where they stopped. 

"Vegeta! Stop cheating!" said Goku.

"I am NOT cheating!"

"Okay…Vegeta! Stop being so short!"

"I am not short…I'm vertically challenged," said Vegeta.

Goku tilted his head to the side, "What?"

"Never mind…"

After one hour, Vegeta could skate without cheating and go backwards as well. He could even grind the ice. He raced Goku around and usually won.

"Hey! Vegeta! It's Krillen!"

"Oh no…not chrome-dome…" muttered Vegeta.

"Hey Goku, how's it going?" asked Krillen as he skated over to them.

"Wicked! I taught Vegeta how to skate!" said Goku.

"Kakarott you imbecile, you didn't teach me to skate…I already knew how to."

"Yeah yeah, Vegeta. Like you know how to not punch little men?" 

Vegeta growled.

Goku and Krillen talked until they spotted somebody they knew.

"Hey, Goku! Look who it is! It's that little kid who we met when we were kids!"

"D'ya mean that kid with the spiked up green hair that was_ really short_?" asked Goku.

"Yeah, he's over there!" said Krillen.

Goku put his hand on his head and looked to the floor, "Where?"

Krillen hit him on the head, "He's not that short. Over there!"

Vegeta pulled Goku's head up and put it in the right direction.

"Oh yeah!"

"He looks bizarre," said Vegeta, referring to his fluorescent green hair. 

"Damn," said Krillen, "He's grown three feet!"

Goku said, "He's got two feet now and he had two feet the last time we saw him."

Vegeta and Krillen fell down anime style.

"Why are you so dense Kakarott?"

"Dense? You mean thick right?"

"Precisely…" said Vegeta.

Chrome-dome left and Vegeta and Goku skated around. Vegeta felt very proud of himself. Nearly everyone on the ice was slipping or going slow. That was, until a professional and his student came on the ice.

Goku was racing Vegeta quite fast down the centre of the rink.

Vegeta was winning, "Ha ha!"

Goku gave him the finger.

Vegeta carried on until suddenly, a blur rushed past him and made him topple over. He fell face first into the ice, sliding along for a few metres before grinding to a halt. He got up and Kakarott collapsed with laughter.

"What?" asked Vegeta.

"Hello Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer!" teased Goku.

"Why are you calling me a red-nosed freak?"

"Because that's what you are! Your nose has gone all red from when you skidded…and all because of a kid!"

Vegeta gasped, "What?! That blur was a kid?!"

"Didn't you see him? And I thought you were a saiyan Vegeta!" said Goku.

'And I thought you were human natured Kakarott' thought Vegeta.

"Look, there he is Vegeta!" said Goku pointing at the kid.

Vegeta followed his finger to watch a small kid of around six years old skating very fast around the rink. He was using the people as cones and dodging around them. The kid stopped and went to his teacher who told him to do something. The kid nodded. The kid – who had dark blond hair – started to skate very fast before jumping in the air and twirling around and around seven times. He landed expertly and proceeded to do other techniques as well.

Vegeta, meanwhile, had his mouth wide open. 

"Vegeta! Close your mouth, you're letting the flies in," said Goku.

"How can a child that small do such a thing?" asked Vegeta.

Goku shrugged.

"Well I'm going to do it too," said Vegeta.

Vegeta 'did' the stunt. Let me just say that Vegeta ended up on the floor again…with a bigger red nose than before, and Goku…ended up with a bigger stitch in his side from laughing.

The kid was dismissed from his teacher and Vegeta went up to him.

"Brat," he said, grabbing the kid by his collar and turning him around

"Oooooooooooooooooooo!" replied the kid, "Rudolph! It's Rudolph!"

Vegeta sighed. Goku came over to watch.

"Brat, how do you do that twirly thing in the air?"

"You mean the Feckmeecrock?" 

"Errrr…yeah, the Fuuckmycrack," said Vegeta.

"It's called the 'Feckmeecrock', not the 'Fuuckmycrack'!" said the kid…loudly.

People started to stare.

"Whatever," replied Vegeta, "tell me how to do it."

"Only if you tell me what I'm getting for Christmas this year," said the kid, jumping up and down.

Goku started to laugh, again.

"For Christmas? Who do you think I am? Santa?!" asked Vegeta.

The kid tilted his head to the side, "No. You're Rudolph, the animal that helps Santa with the presents!"

Vegeta was growing impatient. Goku was still laughing and Vegeta had had enough. He punched Goku in the mouth, ensuring silence…for a few minutes anyway.

"Look, kid: I am not Rudolph. If you don't tell me now how you do the Fuuckmycrack I'll kill Rudolph and Santa!"

The kid's face turned white with terror, and then white with anger.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Vegeta and Goku covered their ears.

'He shouts as loud as Bulma' thought Vegeta.

'Is that the lunchtime bell?' thought Goku.

Vegeta waited until it was over.

"Kid, tell me how!!!"

The kid was still worried about Santa.

"Fine!" growled Vegeta, "you can't even do it right anyway!"

The kid's heart skipped a beat. Was that an insult? Yes. He was going to pay.

The kid opened his mouth: 

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Vegeta covered the kid'####### with his hand. 

Big mistake.

The kid clamped down ####### Vegeta's fingers. He howled in pain. The kid drew his fist back and hit Vegeta in the lower region. Vegeta screamed.

"That's gotta hurt," said Goku, his hand over his ears. 

The kid stuck out his tongue and pulled down his eyelid before skating off. 

Goku began to giggle at the steam that was coming out of Vegeta's ears when suddenly his stomach rumbled.

"I'm hungry."

"You're always hungry Kakarott. Come on. We're going back to your house to see if your mate has come home."

The two saiyans went to take off their skates. Goku teased Vegeta about the kid.

"I told you to never insult a kid and you didn't listen to me," said Goku.

"I could have done it without his help anyway."

"Yeah right mirror killer. You know I haven't forgotten about that mirror Vegeta. I know you were thinking that you'd got away with it," said Goku.

"Kakarott: you're a stupid human saiyan that loves things that you shouldn't, eats food all the time, and never shuts up!" exclaimed Vegeta.

"No one offends food, mirror killer," said Goku. 

"That's it. Tonight your house, Ps2, Grand Turismo 3."    
  


"You're on buddy."

Sometime later… 

"Chi-Chi! You're home!" cried Goku as he entered his house.

However, she was in a foul mood.

"Goku!!!!"

Vegeta stopped as he cam into the house and covered his ears. The earthquake was about to start.

"I CAME HOME TO FIND GOHAN NOT STUDYING IN HIS ROOM BUT OUTSIDE ON THE GRASS SOAKING WET FROM THE RAIN! WHAT DID YOU DO TO HIM SON GOKU?" yelled Chi-Chi.

Goku was in the kitchen, drooling at the sight of the cookies, "Mmmmmmm…cookies."

Chi-Chi got her frying pan and hit him square on the head.

"Ouch! That hurt Chi!" said Goku.

Vegeta sat on the couch laughing.

"I don't know why you're laughing Vegeta."

Vegeta turned around to see his mate holding two-year-old Trunks with a stern look on her face.

'Great' he thought, 'what have I done now?'

"I thought I told you to collect something from Chi-Chi this morning? You never came home and I couldn't do anything today!" she said.

"Well for your information Woman, Kakarott'####### wasn't in when I came this morning!" he replied.

"You went too slow Vegeta. I called Chi-Chi when you left and she was at home. Too bad; you're sleeping on the couch for a week," said Bulma.

Vegeta gaped at her, "That's not fair!"

"And who said that it was going to be fair in the first place Veggie head!"

Vegeta growled. Goku joined him next to the couch and they proceeded to play Grand Turismo 3. 

After half an hour… 

"YES!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"N…NO! IT CAN'T BE!! GRRRRR!!"

"YES! I DID IT! I HAVE BEATEN KAKAROTT!"

"Damn…" said Goku, slamming his fist on the ground.

"Ha, ha, ha, ha…" laughed Vegeta, smiling with pride.

Chi-Chi came in to see Goku crying.

"What's wrong?" she asked him.

"Vegeta just beat me on the Ps2 and he broke a mirror this morning!"

Bulma smirked, "It looks like Vegeta has seven years bad luck."

Vegeta laughed, "Bad luck? Never!"

He got up and walked towards the bathroom…where he slipped on the table.

Bulma laughed, "Bad luck hey?"

Vegeta got up…with another red nose. Vegeta could only hear Goku singing Christmas carols…

"Hey Chi-Chi! Don't bother to cook, I'll call up for some food to be delivered!" said Goku.

"Okay then, if you want. I was going to cook some poultry but seeing that you hurt Gohan this morning you can do all of the work."

Goku picked up the telephone and dialled. He came back into the living room after he was done.

"Well, we can't have Indian curry tonight. I just tried to order some food and as soon as they heard the name Son Goku they screamed never call here again and that there wasn't enough food in the universe to feed me."  
  


Bulma, Chi-Chi and Vegeta (who was back from the bathroom) grumbled in agreement.

"What do we do now for food?" asked Vegeta.

Goku grinned with a very evil smile on his face and Vegeta was very afraid, "Don't worry Vegeta, I'll find something to do."

  
Vegeta cringed.

Chi-Chi stood up, hands on hips, "Well, looks like I'm gonna have to cook after all…and you will help me Goku!"

Goku recoiled, but followed her into the kitchen.

A few seconds later, Bulma and Vegeta heard a yell.

"Yahoo!!!!!! We're having turkey!"

"You know," said Bulma to her mate, "Sometimes I wonder why we wished Goku back with the Dragonballs. I just wonder long and hard."

Vegeta agreed.

After fifteen minutes of watching television, Gohan walked in. He went into the kitchen and saw his dad helping his mother. He went into the lounge and saw Bulma cuddled up to Vegeta on the sofa. He ran upstairs blushing. 

'What in Dende's name is wrong with everyone? First this morning and now Dad is cooking and Vegeta isn't cold-blooded!'

Meanwhile, downstairs… 

Goku came out of the kitchen with a huge grin on his face. He sat down next to Vegeta (who moved away from Bulma to not show weakness).

"That was fun. Chi let me have one of the cookies she made as a treat. The turkey's already pre-cooked, so it should be done in an hour and a half."

"Kakarott," said Vegeta, "You act like a child."

"If I act like a child, then what are you?"

Vegeta growled. 

After an argument on what to do, the two saiyans went outside to train. After that, they meditated.

"Hummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. I see stars. And the moon! I smell. I smell…turkey."

Vegeta opened his eyes, "'Cos your mate is cooking it baka! Stop being so stupid."

"Vegeta, let's play a game. Let's play Comprehend and Dare."

Vegeta gulped. He had played this before…he didn't want to go into the details of what happened.

"I'll go first," said Goku, "Vegeta. Have you ever picked your nose?"

"Of course not!" cried Vegeta.

"Okay, so I'll dare you. I dare you to……………run around like a monkey."

Vegeta smiled. He got up and ran around Goku like a monkey, waving his arms around and making monkey noises.

Gohan chose that moment to open his window for fresh air. When he saw the sight, he began coughing violently. He shut his window. They were all mad!

"Okay," said Vegeta, "my turn. Have you ever…………been turned down during love making?"

"Yeah…about six times because I wouldn't stop talking about how hungry I was at the same time."

Vegeta didn't want to know that!

"Fine, it's your go. I don't have to dare you because you said yes to my question."

Goku said, "Have you ever streaked in front of people?"

"No…"

"Well good, because you're gonna have to do it now."

Vegeta gasped, "No way!"

"Then why didn't you just say yes so you wouldn't have the dare?" asked Goku.

"Because," said Vegeta, "you would have teased me and told everybody."

"Well you still have to do it."

"No."

Goku pulled out a photo from his pocket and showed it to Vegeta. His face went ten different shades of red before turning white.

"Where," Vegeta rasped, "did you get that photo."

"Remember when I took you to that club to lighten up? I got talking to this man. He was drunk. You were looking bored so I told the man – who was gay – to make some moves on you. I took out a camera and waited. The next thing I knew, he had forced his lips on yours! Your face was so funny!"

Goku looked at the photo. It was a man with his lips on Vegeta's. Vegeta had his hands ready to strangle him and his eyes were wide open. His face was in shock. 

"Give me the photo," said Vegeta.

"Umm…no!"

"Give it back!"

"Only if you do the dare and streak," said Goku.

"I won't," said Vegeta.

"Then I'll just have to show this to Bulma and Chi-Chi and Yamcha and Krillen and…"

"Don't you dare!" said Vegeta.

"Then do the dare and your secret is safe with me."

"This is blackmail."

"I know," said Goku.

'I swear the baka hides his brain. Sometimes he's so clever and other times he has a brain the size of a walnut. No, make that the size of a grain of sand.'

Vegeta smiled, "Only if you catch me first!"

Vegeta took off. Goku smiled and began to run towards the house shouting, "Chi-Chi, I've got something to show you!"

Vegeta paled and landed in front of him.

Goku smiled.

Vegeta then thought of an idea. If he knocked himself out, then he wouldn't be able to do the dare. He turned towards the rocks and flew towards them.

Goku, catching on, grabbed his leg.

"This isn't happening…" Vegeta grumbled.

Vegeta stood behind a bush naked.

"Okay Vegeta! All you have to do is to go through the front door of my house, through the corridor and out of the window on the other side. I'll meet you there."

"What?!" yelled Vegeta, "I thought I just had to streak out here!"

"No," said Goku, "through the house. Relax Vegeta! The women are in the kitchen, they won't see you."

Vegeta growled and ran towards the door. If they weren't going to see him, then streaking was better than showing the photo to them. He opened the door slowly. The coast was clear. He could hear them laughing in the kitchen. He ran.

As fast as he could without using saiyan skills as that wasn't allowed, he ran down the corridor. Just as he was nearing the kitchen, Bulma, carrying Trunks, and Chi-Chi came out laughing. He picked up speed and whooshed past them. The women gasped as an olive-coloured blur with black hair went past them.

"What was Vegeta doing running through the house?" asked Chi-Chi, "When did he change clothes?"

"You know, I'm sure I've seen Vegeta like that before," said Bulma. She thought hard and blushed beetroot red. Trunks giggled. She dragged Chi-Chi into the kitchen to tell all.

Vegeta turned the corner. He had one more corner to turn and then he could escape out of the window by the stairs. He turned the last corner.

Gohan decided to come down at that moment to get a glass of water. His eyes bulged as his saiyan eyesight caught Vegeta running past the stairs in great detail. He let out a little 'eak' before turning around and bolting up the stairs. He went into his room and lent against the door as he closed it. It was true. The saiyans needed help. They were becoming psychos.

Vegeta climbed out of the window and collapsed onto the ground. Goku gave him his clothing while holding his side from the pains of laughter. Vegeta growled and got dressed saiyan speed. He punched Goku in the mouth.

"Shut up!" he said.

Goku was silenced when a voice cut through the air.

"So the saiyans are playing games then," said Piccolo. 

Goku said hi, Vegeta #######. 

They all began to train together in the cold night air.

"So Piccolo, what have you been doing since the Cell Games?" asked Goku.

"Meditating and training."

"Stop talking and fight!" said Vegeta.

Everything was okay until Goku hit Vegeta ######## the head. And when I mean hard, I mean hard.

"Umm, Vegeta…are you okay?" asked Goku.

No answer.

"Vegeta?" said Goku.

"He's faking it," said Piccolo. 

Goku got down on his knees and turned Vegeta around. He had a massive bump on his head.

"Vegeta? Vegeta! Don't leave me!"

No answer.

"Vegeta! You can't die yet! You're going to die an old man with ##### of grandchildren!"

No movement.

"Nooooo! Vegeta! Wake up, please!"

Silence. 

"Vegeta! Vegeta! Vegeta! Wake up! Wak…"

Piccolo tapped Goku on the shoulder.

"Err…Goku? This isn't Titanic. You're not Rose and he's not ####."

"Oh."

Vegeta groaned and got up. He rubbed his head and looked at the two fighters.

"Well hello…" he said flirtatiously.

Goku recoiled back, a shocked expression on his face.

"Do you know that I am the number one love appeal in the universe?" Vegeta asked getting up.

Piccolo gaped at him.

"You're crazy if you can resist a sexy beast like me," whispered Vegeta.

"Okay…" said Goku, "One bump for insanity right?"

Vegeta suddenly got up and began to skip around them both, "Wicked man! Where'#### blingin' cell phone? Buuyakarshar! Respect for da Ali G!" 

"He's finally flipped; didn't think it would take long," said Piccolo. 

Vegeta levitated up, spread his arms out and began to sing, "I believe I can fly! I got shot by the FBI! All I wanted was a chicken wing! From Mc Donalds or Burger King! I can't believe what I saw! My chicken wing lying on the floor! I believe I can fly! I got shot by the FBI. Oh I believe I can fly."

"At least he's a good singer," replied Goku. 

Vegeta sang again, "I believe I can fly! I got shot by the FBI! All I wanted was a chicken wing! And thy shot me in my ding-a-ling! I can't believe what I saw! My ding-a-ling lying on the floor! I believe I can fly! I got shot by the FBI. Oh I believe I can fly."

Goku and Piccolo made a face.

"Hentai!" they said. 

Goku flew up to Vegeta. 

"Umm…Vegeta? I didn't mean to hit you on the head that hard. It was a mistake! Just because you aren't stronger than I am and you are the prince of a dead race doesn't mean you have something to worry about. In fact, everything should be fine!"

Piccolo looked up to Dende. Goku was as stupid as a banana. 

Vegeta glared at him and landed in front of Piccolo. They had a glaring contest before Vegeta laughed and cried out:

"I'm a rubber ducky!"

Vegeta began to waddle along the ground making duck noises.

"Goku," said Piccolo as he landed, "maybe we should get Bulma."

Goku turned around with a look of pure horror on his face. He screamed:

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

He fell to his knees and smashed the ground with his fists. Sad and horrific music began to play in the background.

"What have I done? When Bulma finds out that Vegeta is a mad saiyan who has the brain of a duck, she's going to be so mad!"

Thunder and lightning began.

"She'll shout at me, kill me and fry me for dinner! That means that I'll never be able to eat the turkey that Chi is cooking! I'm going to die a hungry saiyan with Bulma's screaming in my ears forever! Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo-"

Goku was cut short by Piccolo coughing. The music and thunder stopped.

"There isn't any need for dramatics, Goku. All Vegeta needs is another bump on the head to turn him to normal."

"Oh. Does that mean I'll be able to eat the turkey?"

Piccolo sweat-dropped, "Yes."

"Then let's do it."

"One problem," replied Piccolo, "Where is he?"

Goku turned around to see nothing but air. 

Gohan came out of the bathroom yawning. He wanted to get to bed. He couldn't face the saiyans at dinner because they were insane. He thought that maybe an invisible alien race had come to attack the saiyans brain. Then it hit him. Vegeta had caught Gokuvitis, the weird syndrome that Goku had that had doubled in ferocity since the morning. Yeah. That was it. It should go in a few days…he hoped.

He pulled back the covers of his bed and was about to get in when he heard something behind him. He turned around and saw that nothing was there. He turned around again and yelped.

Vegeta was dancing around on his bed. Vegeta saw Gohan and turned to look at him.

"Boo."

Gohan turned white and fainted.

Vegeta rubbed the back of his head.

"Oops."

Piccolo and Goku felt a jump in ki from the house and went to investigate. They found Vegeta all right, but he was in another world.

"Listen," said Vegeta looking to the ground, "we must save Middle-Earth from destruction! Us, the Elves of Lothlorien must go and help the Riders of Rohan. They are going into battle with Saruman and his army of orcs and goblins! Legolas of Mirkwood is already there. The Fellowship has been broken. Borimir's brother, Faramir, is believed dead! And Frodo and his companion are in the marshes of Outer Mordor. They will go into Mordor soon! We must help the Riders of Rohan!"

Goku and Piccolo sweat dropped.

"He's been watching the trilogy of The Lord of the Rings too much," whispered Goku as he sneaked into Gohan's room. He lifted his hands and within a second had Vegeta outside and on the floor.

Vegeta got up, "Che fai? Io non posso camina perche c'è tu qui! Vaffunculo!" 

Piccolo and Goku looked to each other in confusion.

Goku lifted his fist and hit Vegeta ####### the head. There wasn't a sound.

"It didn't work," he stated and hit him again.

A grunt was heard.

"Still didn't work."

Goku hit Vegeta on the head again and again and again and again until…

"KAKAROTT!"

Goku stopped hitting him, "he's cured!"

Vegeta glared at Goku.

"Why did you continue to hit me?"

"Because," replied Goku, "I hit you on the head too hard and it gave you some sort of brain damage and you went all psycho on us and saying how you were a rubber ducky and speaking in foreign languages and pretending you were an elf and singing a remake of I Believe I Can Fly which was pretty good especially the second one and trying to flirt with us which freaked us out and making me think that I was going to be fried and eaten by Bulma when she found out what happened had to you and…

He ###### in a deep breath,

"Killing the mirror this morning which was just plain mean and homicidal and making my son fall on the floor and threatening to kill my Gummy Crocodiles and blow up the kitchen and dissing Jerry Springer and punching me in the mouth when I was laughing at you at the ice rink which was really funny because you got beaten up by a child and then making me get told off by Chi-Chi and beating me on the Ps2. That's it really." 

Vegeta gawked at him in confusion at the speed of his talking and dismissed it completely.

They heard a voice call out.

"DINNER'S READY!"

Vegeta and Goku were gone in a flash of light. Piccolo was left standing there.

"Bye then…"

Vegeta got into the kitchen first but was stopped by Chi-Chi's hand…and her glare. Goku ran smack into him.

"Sit down, nicely," said Chi-Chi, "don't touch anything…or else."

The saiyans gulped.

They sat down. Vegeta sat down next to Bulma who was trying to contain her laughter from Vegeta's streaking spree. 

As Chi-Chi was putting vegetables on all of their plates, Gohan came down. He ignored the saiyans eyes.

"Mother, can I eat up in my room?"

Chi-Chi replied, "No _eating_ in the bedrooms."

"I bet you don't say that to Dad."

Chi-Chi blushed. Goku dropped the fork he was holding. Vegeta smirked. Bulma started to cough.

Gohan smiled. He knew what saiyans' ego in bed was.

Chi-chi quickly gave him a tray and put food on it. Gohan scampered upstairs. She put the rest of the food in the others' plates. Goku was about to put a leg of turkey in his mouth when his mate stopped him.

"We have to say grace first," she said.

The saiyans put their hands together.

"Grace!!!"

Goku and Vegeta tucked into their food while Chi-Chi and Bulma looked at them. 

"Chi-Chi, they still haven't learned."

"Oh well, at least we know that they have a sense of humour," said Chi-Chi referring to Vegeta and his streak.

Bulma giggled.

Otherwise, dinner was uneventful (for the three minutes it took the saiyans to eat) except that Bulma told Vegeta that she saw him naked in the house. Vegeta began choking on a bone. 

Later, at around 9:00pm… 

Everyone was watching Celebrity Big Brother when Bulma'########, Bunny Briefs, came around for a visit. She and the woman talked for a bit in the kitchen and Bunny looked after Trunks. 

Bulma told Bunny about Vegeta's seven years bad luck from when he broke the mirror. She left the women talking and went to find Vegeta in the living room. Goku had gone to the bathroom.

"

Vegeta! What are we going to do about your bad luck?" Mrs. Briefs asked messing up his hair.  
  


Now if there was one thing Vegeta hated more then being weaker than Kakarott, being called short, going ice skating, being beaten up by a human kid getting called a mirror killer, being weaker than Kakarott, being called a baka, watching Jerry Springer, being weaker than Kakarott, having to see Kakarott's thing and being called Rudolph… IT WAS HAVING HIS HAIR MESSED UP!  
  


Moving his head back he yelled, "NO ONE TOUCHES THE HAIR!"  
  


"Oh Vegeta, I was only fixing it," Bunny said moving closer trying to touch it again.  
  


Vegeta jumped off the couch and onto the living room floor, "You touch the hair and you die onna."  
  


"Come on Vegeta; just let me pat it down a little."  
  


"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"  
  


Vegeta ran out into the outside corridor as fast as he could. Then suddenly, he ran into a tall Saiyan warrior.  
  


"God Kakarott! Everywhere I turn my back you're there."  
  


"Wanna spar?" Kakarott asked holding two fists up.  
  


"Are you nuts? I'd rather die than spar with you, you annoying circus clown."  
  


"Oh Vegeta!" Mrs. Briefs yelled poking her head out of the doorway.  
  


"Never mind, let's go," said Vegeta, determined to get as far away as possible from her. 

At Capsule Corp. that night… 

After a great session with Bulma (AN: wink wink ^_~) Vegeta snuggled down into the covers to go to sleep. He had had a tiring day with Goku and wanted to sleep. Bulma had forgotten about Vegeta sleeping on the couch.

Vegeta closed his eyes. They were closed for about three seconds when the phone rang. His eyes shot open and he growled. Bulma was asleep. He got up and answered. 

"Hello?"

"Vegeta?"

'Oh no' Vegeta thought.

"Vegeta?"

'Not again…'

Vegeta sighed, "What do you want Kakarott? It's one in the morning."

"Well…you see, there's something I've got to tell you," said Goku.

Vegeta hesitated, "What?"

"You know that kid?"

"What kid?" asked Vegeta.

"The kid that you insulted at the ice rink and he hit you…hard?"

"…Yeah?"

"I've got some good news," said Goku, "Apparently, the kid is one of Chi-Chi's friend's children and I offered to baby-sit him tomorrow and I told Chi that you would help. So what time do you want to come round to my house?"

No answer.

"Hello?"

Vegeta was long gone.

And that is why Goku is called Goku and Vegeta is called Vegeta.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Did you all enjoy it? Well I _hope_ you did! 

TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK IN A **REVIEW! **YOU KNOW, THE** BUTTON** DOWN THERE!

FOREVER ALWAYS…DRAGON AGILITY!


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